Whilst supporting an NLP course this weekend I was asked what book I would recommend regarding dealing with children and behaviour issues. There is one I would suggest all parents begin with, and to be honest if your child is small it is a good manual for interacting with them right the way through their growing up. It is called "Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids" and is written by Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson.
There is a great deal of information in this book written in a way which allows you to challenge yourself in 7 steps.
I use many of these methods myself when working with children and it does as it says, create a non-conflict but resolution conscious atmosphere which the children own and thrive in.
Some of you may find some of the steps challenging, and perhaps surprising, but have a look on Amazon, I think you will be very pleasantly surprised by its usefulness.